Today was NOT a FML day :-). Aside from the HORRIBLE noise that woke me this morning (my alarm clock), today was a pretty great day! I got a new schedule at work that will probably take me 3 weeks to memorize. I confiscated an "air" phone from one student using it to call her barking dog at home.
Student: DOG, stop barking! I mean it, young lady!
Me: Stop using your phone, I need your help (keep in mind, I am beyond frustrated that I have to deliver 2 weeks worth of mail with very little help and she's pretending she's on the phone)
Student: I'm talking to _________.

I ignore her for a few minutes, hoping that she'll get sick of it. No such luck..
Me: Ring, Ring. Ring. Ring. _______ That's call waiting. I'm trying to call you.
Student: I can't hear you. You aren't calling me. You don't have a phone.
Me: Yes I do, it's right here, can't you see it?
Student: No you don't, that's just your hand (really????)
Me: Fine, then I'm taking your phone (and I walked over and confiscated her "phone" and put it in my "pocket).

Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is how you get help delivering 2 weeks worth of mail...

I also had an epic conversation with another student this morning during writing class:
Student: What kind of car do you have?
Me: a Chevy. But, I don't like it very much. It's always breaking down.
Student: Is it in the bottom of Lake Michigan?
Me: No. It's in the parking lot.
Student: How does it break down?
Me: It just never works right. I always have to get something fixed on it.
Student: (shouting across the room) Teacher's got a lemon! Teacher's got a lemon!

Needless to say, that made my morning. This afternoon was a whole new level of amazing--on the way to my favorite restaurant, my friend and I walked past a bakery I've seen multiple times. It's never looked appealing until today. We were expecting this tiny place with maybe 10 items. Walking in, we were hit by case after tantalizing case of Mexican pastries. In order to make your purchase, you grab a dish tub or pizza pan and a pair of tongs and set off on your journey. These people know what they are doing--they see SUCKER written on every forehead that walks in that door. As soon as you grab your tongs, you are going to start buying every other item. Two of us walked out with 12 or 13 pastries (not bad, considering there were about 300 to choose from) for 10 bucks. I'd say today was the exact opposite of a FML day. :-)